Rule No. 9 from Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: “Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t.”

When you encounter an idea that feels strange or when someone expresses a perspective that clashes with your own, resist the urge to react immediately. Instead, practice stillness. Listen.

You don’t need to convince others that your way of thinking is the correct one. That’s not the goal of true dialogue. Instead, focus on understanding. Just listen.

As Friedrich Nietzsche wrote: “It is the most common deceit of men to think they are free, when in truth they are merely listening to themselves.” Don’t fall into the trap of simply waiting for your turn to speak. Real listening requires silencing the internal monologue that prepares counterarguments or judgments. It means fully engaging with the other person’s words, presuming that they might hold a fragment of truth that could expand your understanding.

Listening isn’t just about gaining knowledge—it’s also about respect. People can sense when they are truly being heard, and it profoundly affects how they feel about themselves and their ideas. When you listen carefully, you send a powerful signal: What you are saying matters to me. This validation can uplift someone, showing them that their words—and by extension, their thoughts—are valuable.

After you’ve listened, take time to reflect. Scrutinize their beliefs with curiosity rather than judgment. Ask questions, and then listen again.

In such a vast and complex universe, the sheer depth of what we don’t know should humble us. Recognizing this opens the door to greater receptivity. Even when someone rejects your ideas or struggles to articulate their own, keep listening. Listen, not because you need all the answers, but because the act itself creates a bridge—a shared moment of understanding in a fragmented world.

Listen carefully, because it shows respect.
Listen deeply, because it fosters connection.
Listen humbly, because neither of you has all the answers.